Liking someone in an open relationship has got to be the most confusing thing to cross my mind.

Including number theory.

I never understood why people want to argue about whether or not being gay is a choice or not.

I mean, a.) it’s pretty obvious it isn’t… and b.)… How would that make inequality justified -.-;

A couple days ago I was working late in the costume shop. A friend of mine was talking about his weird open relationship because he was dating a guy that was dating a guy but after the latter two split he didn’t want to pressure the middle guy to be in a committed relationship but didn’… ok not the important part… anyway he asked for my advice.

I was pretty honest. I told him I didn’t really know because I don’t really date much. He asked me why that was. Of course I ask myself that a lot. I mean things come up in my head like I’m just not horny and detached enough for modern gay relationships at my age or that I’m just not very attractive but… it was kinda weird. The words that came out of my mouth were “I’m just kinda boring”

Everyone around the shop kinda flocked to tell me I wasn’t and how I do a lot of interesting things. I make dresses, video games, program etc. I mean, yeah, I do do a lot of stuff so… what made me say that? It’s been irking me for awhile.

Anyway, it kinda hit me today. About a week ago a friend asked me what I wanted to do with my major. I didn’t really know for sure, there’s a lot of options. He commented that I’m a jack of all trades but a master of none.

I guess I’ll put my crazy card on the table now and say that sometimes I look at the world like a big movie. All the characters have intricate personalities that you can see from their choices and actions. When my friend said that I started thinking about my character. I always try to do very well at everything I try but I also… want to try everything. I want to be a computer scientist…that moonlights as a digital artist…that twilights as a costume designer?

That got me starting to look at other parts of my life… I always approach relationships optimistically. It’s how I want to view life…but then I always analyze them realistically and greet them with pessimism.

The choices people make in life add depth to their character. Flavor. I… I don’t know what I want. I don’t have that.

I’m just…boring.

I dub this condition: gaytypical

I’ve been wanting to make an update about my relationship life lately but I can’t seem to find the time.

I mean, I get some pretty good revelations in the shower and such but they’re so fleeting -.-

Overall things are ok. It’s the neverending story: meet a guy for a short time, nothing ever really happens after that

Oh and I realized I’m pretty different than popular society (and Gainesville’s) gay men.

This has been a teaser for future posts.

When people hack other people’s facebooks and say they’re gay as the status

It’s so fucking retarded.

As if being gay is the worst and most hilarious thing that someone could be.

Fucking dumbasses.

Sorry, I’m usually not this angry of a person.

That shit just gets to me.

Sometimes I wish I could walk up to someone and tell them I kinda like them without the perpetual fear of being laughed at endlessly.

… come to think of it…

Sometimes I wish I could walk up to anyone and say anything without the perpetual fear of being laughed at endlessly.